hale pupule

I keep thinking I should give Phil his own tag in my LJ, since I'm so obviously smitten with him, but smitten has happened before, so I'm waiting to see if we hang out after the last performance of the play he's directing and I'm acting in. I'm hoping we get the chance tomorrow evening -- twice a year, the stake (like a diocese) has a conference that has three sessions of two-hour meetings. I'll be there for the second of the two Saturday sessions, and he'll be there for both, so maybe afterwards we can hit Denny's or something. Maybe a bunch of us could; that'd be fun!

I find this man so easy to talk to. When we first met, I was fifteen and he was twenty-five, though he seemed so much older to me. I thought he was cute -- even fancied him a little -- but he was grown up, and I was a kid. Now, however, ten years isn't such a big gap, at least not when I'm looking at this cute forty-four-year-old dude. I don't think it's a big gap for him, either, since we end up talking in the parking lot AFTER EVERY SINGLE PRACTICE. Practice ended at 9:30 tonight; Mike and Phil and I got out of the building by 9:45, the three of us chatted until 10:15, and then Phil and I chatted for fifty minutes after Mike drove away. I got home two hours after practice ended! So we like to talk, and while a lot of it has been about our various fandoms, there's other stuff, too, like church and Facebook (he's as much of a n00b as I am).

So he likes me. That's fabulous. Being me, I over-think things, and there's a difference in my mind between a casual friend (a buddy you hang out with when there's stuff that brings you together, like a play or church or baseball game) and a good friend (a buddy you seek out even when there's nothing to do). I'm just not sure if I'm a casual friend or a good friend yet; if we're still hanging out after the play is over, I'll be squeeing like mad, even if he never fancies me the way I fancy him.

So now I'm on a kind of high of happiness, and I have yet to come down from it.

Quote of the Day from Sting's website:

"Real intelligence is not about being a trickster and winning in that shallow way, but about being good, being helpful and thoughtful. I'm becoming aware that that's how you should behave."

I often wondered what was wrong with me, that I would take and re-take those Myers-Briggs personality tests and come out with results that didn't seem quite right. A comment in ginny_weasley31's latest post got me thinking about it, and after clicking a dozen or so links, I think I have it figured out. I always supplied the answers I wanted to be -- ISTP or ISTJ -- not what I actually was. But when I went to this page and started reading, the first sentence after the quote from Moby Dick told me everything I needed to know: "INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder." Like Anne and Calvin.

I think, anyway. *peeks here* Yeah. That's me.

It's funny, where enlightenment can come from. When I read a certain chapter of BoF's Seven Preposterous Things, I sat bolt upright in my chair. Hermione realizes something abut Severus: while her own mind is always going and thinking over external problems and puzzles, Severus spends a great deal of time inside his own head. And when I started rescuing my books from exile in Dad's apartment, he smiled and said that I couldn't bear to be separated from my world for too long. He figured it out around the same time that I did.

It doesn't explain everything, but it does explain a lot.